I have this thing where I feel like I need to take on a lot in order to be successful. Which is ironic considering that I’ve been one of those people vigorously nodding along to quotes & articles about our harmful obsession with busyness. I thought I’d never fall into that mindset, but I guess I have to eat my words now. Pass the salt?
Image via STIL through Unsplash
Grad school is a different beast to undergrad. The stakes are higher, because now, I find myself doing work that can launch a career. And the margin for error is smaller. It doesn’t take much to fail, and if I do, there is often an impact on people other than me. The combined workload of my courses, thesis, and research work is a lot heavier than undergrad, and at this point, I’m also starting to get a very scratchy itch to see what life is like outside of school (I’ve been a student for nearly 20 years!).
If anxiety sets in, I start to feel like I’m in a pressure cooker, and I get a sinking, helpless feeling in my gut when I realize how much I have to do. This is when I tend to procrastinate, which provides a very temporary escape, but in the end, only worsens the way I feel.
I know I’m not alone in this (and if you can relate, neither are you!). Other grad students (see here too) experience anxiety, and it’s something that can be managed. I know that immobilizing nervous feeling all too well, and while I’m far from perfect, I have some strategies for keeping my anxiety under control. I don’t always follow them, but when I do, they help me a lot.
However, I’m not a professional, so don’t substitute this for professional advice. If you’re in need of help, you can go to your local student wellness office. If you’re in a crisis, you can call your local emergency number.
So this is it: I’m a quarter century old! I haven’t really been big on my birthdays, but I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. This feels like the start of a new period in my life. Up to now, I’ve been going to school. I’ve thought a bit about what I’d like to do, tried, failed, and it feels like I’ve been kind of waiting for a life beyond school to come within reach. Now, it seems like I’m finally getting there.
Even though this last year has had some really difficult moments, and I’ve learned that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to, I’m still so hopeful about this year of life ahead of me. There are 6 things in particular that I want to focus on.
Little Pink Book is a blog series about dating smarter, not harder as an ambitious, Christian, millenial woman. Read the rest of the series here. If you’d like to submit a post to this series, send a pitch here.
My first foray into online dating was brief, confusing, and disappointing, but I fired up another dating app (not Tinder, probably never Tinder) for round two. This app is different from the last one in that it doesn’t have a daily limit for the number of potential matches you see and allows guys to message girls first.
Round two lasted about three weeks before I needed to back off and focus on other things (hello, deadlines!). I didn’t realize how much time and energy dating takes up. Nevertheless, I learned a lot about who and how I like to date. Here are five of the biggest.
Little Pink Book is a blog series about dating smarter, not harder as an ambitious, Christian, millenial woman in a big city. Read the rest of the series here. If you’d like to contribute, send us a pitch here.
The first time I got rejected by a guy I met online, it really sucked. I’m used to the idea that when I meet someone I feel a mutual attraction with, it’s special. Offline, I’m not meeting people I want to mutually get to know better very often. So imagine my surprise when a guy who said he enjoyed talking to me suddenly told me that we shouldn’t talk anymore.
What I didn’t understand about online dating then is that it’s fickle. People are bombarded with options on a daily basis. When you’re speaking to someone who is one of many, that person isn’t terribly special (at least not at first).
That’s a double edged sword of online dating–being to made to feel undervalued–but on the other hand, I’ve found that it’s key to avoiding placing a guy on a pedestal and dealing with rejection.