THE Dress (on a model who looks suspiciously like Rory Gilmore). Image Via Zeleb
ome years ago, about a year before prom, I started thinking about prom dresses. I looked around a little bit and saw THE dress. I just knew I was supposed to wear it–I had a gut feeling. Plus, it would look fabulous on me, and every guy I had ever liked in high school would drool over me in it. So I saved the link to that bad gyal, saved the pictures, and began thinking about my grand entrance to prom.
And do you know what I did after that? I decided to keep looking. It was still early, and what if there was something even better out there? It couldn’t hurt. I ended up spending months obsessing over dresses, trying to find the most statement-making piece until finally, a close friend pulled me aside and told me how tacky my dress choices had become. Oops.
In the end, I didn’t get the dress I originally wanted, or even the dress that prompted an intervention. In fact, I didn’t even go to prom at all, partly because of how much I stressed over the thing. This is what perfectionism does to me–it blows things up to epic proportions and gives reasonably ordinary things massive weight, causing an inability to move on with life or make decisions.
*Raises hand* My name is C and I’m a recovering perfectionist.
Getting organized was the thing I heard, in some variation, before the start of every school year. Our trips to the store to get school supplies seemed to convey that, the handing out of agendas in class every September seemed to convey that, my Dad telling me that the key to being successful in life was to “be organized and start early,” and yet, somehow, I missed the message.
My desk at school was always a mess, my homework was often late, I was often late, and my parents affectionately called me “Space Cadet” because I was so scatterbrained. I generally felt that I was always running behind my life and trying to catch up with it. Didn’t everybody?
The first time I truly “got” getting organized was in my second year of undergrad, and organization played a big part in my getting my first year of straight As.
One of the most valuable things getting organized taught me was that I can have control over my time.
I’m rediscovering time management lately, and here’s what’s been working for me.
Sometimes, fortunately or unfortunately, I’m also prompted to feel that I need to hurry up with achieving my own dreams. As I approach being two years out of undergrad, my 24th birthday, and not being where I want to be yet, I’ve been wondering lately whether I’m wasting time.
ecret: I’m an introvert who has extroverted friends. This means I get invited to…parties (dun dun dun). If you’re like me, you’ve probably felt an uncomfortable feeling creeping in when a party’s coming up. While potentially fun, parties can also be draining.
I am very grateful to have friends who consider me enough to invite me to their events. It’s important to me that I support my friends by showing up and enjoying myself, and it’s taken me several years to figure out how exactly to do this.
I’m still learning, but there are a few things I’ve learned to do that help me out.
In my first year of university, I had no idea what I was doing with my life, until I woke up one night in tears, determined to resolve my existential crisis. I wrote a list of all the things I believed I needed to be happy. I asked myself, of these, what are the minimum I would need to have happiness? And then I asked myself, what career will get me closest to the majority of items on my happiness list? After that, it was pretty easy to narrow it down. I chose to pursue a highly competitive career. And boy, am I feeling that pressure now.
I’ve worn and loved a cat eye liner, pretty much without fail, since age 17. When I knew I was heading into a task that seemed humongous, I put on a full face of makeup, drawing strength, courage, and comfort from my “war paint.”
Makeup and I have gone through a lot of things together. But I’ve been realizing over the past year that I put too much stock in it. I need to take a break from it this year.